20 More Things Not to Say to Someone with Dementia – Part 2
Communicating with someone who has dementia can be emotionally challenging, especially for family members who may feel unsure about how to respond. At Veritas Care, we understand that kindness, patience, and the right words can make a world of difference. Following the popularity of our original article, “20 Things Not to Say to Someone with Dementia,” we’re bringing you Part 2 – because there’s always more to learn about compassionate care.
This list of 20 more phrases to avoid can help family caregivers, friends, and even professionals improve dementia communication, reduce distress, and build trust. If you’re wondering how to talk to someone with dementia, this is a great place to start.
Why the Right Words Matter
People living with dementia may experience memory loss, confusion, or changes in behaviour, but they still deserve respect and dignity in every interaction. Certain phrases, even when said with good intentions, can be frustrating or hurtful. By adjusting your language, you can foster a more supportive and calm environment – and that’s key when learning how to deal with dementia in everyday life.
Here Are 20 More Things Not to Say to Someone with Dementia:
1.“You already told me that.”
This can make the person feel embarrassed or ashamed. Instead, respond as though it’s the first time you’re hearing it.
2.”You’re wrong.”
Correcting them may lead to confusion or arguments. Try redirecting the conversation instead.
3.”You just asked me that.”
Repetition is common. Patiently answer the question again or gently change the topic.
4.“We talked about this yesterday.”
Reminding someone of something they’ve forgotten rarely helps and may upset them.
5.”That’s not how it happened.”
Their version of events may differ – and that’s okay. Go along with it when possible unless it’s harmful.
6.“Try to remember.”
Putting pressure on memory can increase anxiety. Offer help or clues instead.
7.”You’re being difficult.”
What may seem like resistance could be confusion or fear. Stay calm and patient.
8.”Don’t you remember me?”
If they don’t, introducing yourself each time with a smile is much more comforting.
9.“You’re fine.”
Dismissing their feelings or symptoms can make them feel invalidated. Acknowledge their emotions instead.
10.”You don’t need help.”
Even if they look okay, dementia affects more than just physical abilities. Support their independence gently.
11.”You’re acting crazy.”
This is deeply hurtful. Avoid any language that labels or judges their behaviour.
12.”Hurry up.”
Rushing someone with dementia can create stress and confusion. Allow extra time for tasks.
13.”Why would you do that?”
Questions like this can feel accusatory. Try observing what’s happening and offer gentle assistance.
14.”You always used to…”
Reminding them of past abilities can lead to sadness. Focus on what they can do now.
15.”You can’t do that.”
It’s better to guide them toward safe activities than to forbid things outright.
16.”What’s wrong with you?”
They may not understand what they’ve done or how to answer. Respond with compassion.
17.”We’ve been over this.”
Try to see each conversation as new, even if it’s familiar to you.
18.”You’re not making sense.”
Listening closely and responding to the emotion, not just words, is better.
19.”No one else has trouble with this.”
Comparisons are unhelpful and can damage self-esteem.
20.”I give up.”
Caregiving is hard, but giving up verbally can feel like abandonment. Take a break when needed – or seek help.
Positive Alternatives That Work
When you know what not to say to someone with dementia, you’re already on the right track. But what should you say instead?
Focus on connection, reassurance, and validation. Simple phrases like:
- “I’m here with you.”
- “That’s okay.”
- “Let’s try this together.”
- “Can you help me with this?”
- “You’re safe.”
These gentle responses are examples of how to talk to someone with dementia in a supportive way. They can turn a confusing moment into a calming one.
What Are Six Communication Techniques You Should Use When Communicating with a Person with Dementia?
This is a question we hear often. Here are six powerful techniques to improve your dementia communication:
1.Speak slowly and clearly.
Use simple sentences and pause often.
2.Maintain eye contact.
This builds trust and helps them focus.
3.Use their name.
It’s comforting and helps ground them in the conversation.
4.Use positive body language.
Smiling, open posture, and gentle touch go a long way.
5.Limit distractions.
Reduce background noise and keep the environment calm.
6.Be patient and give them time to respond.
Silence is okay – they may need more time to process.
These can help when figuring out how to deal with dementia in everyday situations – whether you’re a family member or a professional caregiver.
You’re Not Alone
Dementia can be overwhelming for families, especially when juggling daily care, emotions, and misunderstandings. That’s why many families across the UK turn to Veritas Care for professional, affordable live-in carers from Poland.
Our carers are trained in dementia communication and know how to deal with dementia compassionately-offering support not just to seniors but also to families. Whether you’re just starting this journey or have been on it for years, the right support makes a difference.
Final Thoughts
Knowing the 20 things not to say to someone with dementia is not about being perfect – it’s about being present, kind, and willing to learn. With the right words, tone, and approach, every conversation can become a moment of calm, connection, and care.
Need help navigating dementia care? Get in touch with Veritas Care today – because no one should go through this alone.
